Managed Expectations-A Poetic Note to Self...........

Hi all, I was thinking about the source of many of my fleshly moments, and was reminded of the many times I have been interrupted or otherwise "inconvenienced." I mean, there are times when I KNOW exactly what I want to get done, or exactly where I want to go, etc. Something seems to, fairly often, set my plans off track. Now I have responded to the offset differently at different times; and I've seen different outcomes based on those responses. Whenever I have responded from a perspective of "all time is a gift of God," I've really been able to find God's grace to serve at a moment's notice. It could be anything, couldn't it? I could be on the way to the front door to go check the mail, and the beautiful woman God gave me could stop me and ask me to run upstairs to get something for her or the baby. Who's need comes first? Does mine automatically come first because it was expressed first chronologically? That was an easy example I'm sure. Not like the times when you've planned a nice dinner date with your spouse and 10 minutes prior to leaving, the sitter cancelled. THAT, my friend, is a MAJOR infraction. How are we to respond when our plans don't come to fruition? What happens to our attitude when all that we've set as truth in our minds comes to naught due to a phone call? How attached to our plans and expectations are we anyway? Now, the grand question: what does GOD's Word say about all this? There will be a part II, but meanwhile I've written a poem as a note to myself about this.

Managed Expectations-Note to Self

You are what you call frustrated, but what the Bible calls angry,

Things didn't go the way you planned, so it's your selfishness mainly,

You had your entire day set, from waking moment down to the night,

But you encountered interruptions and to you, that just ain't right,

"I didn't get anything I wanted done!" You selfishly exclaim,

Do you remember, Mark 5, Jesus delayed giving life to sooth pain,

I'll bet the woman with the issue of blood would've probably been crushed,

If Jesus was so committed to His own plans just like us,

Her interruption, it seems, was a chance for the Lord to show mercy,

Our interruptions get the short end of the stick, "alright I'll help, but I'm in a hurry!"

Could it be that by thinking we can control our own days,

That the Lord allows setbacks to show us the evil in our ways?

As Christians, we are commanded to prefer one another over self,

And at times, that's a sacrifice which includes placing our own plans on the shelf,

If we live with the notion that my life is to be poured out as an offering of service,

The idea that "I might not be able to get to everything I wanted," wouldn't make us nervous

Now everybody suffers because of your "frustration," the cats. the kids, the spouse, the client,

And you say it's because there's not enough time in a day, an excuse the God of time's not buying,

There's plenty of time, we all have the same amount, but if your priority is your plan,

You will forever find that you seem to run short, because your life ain't in your hands.

If you belong to the Lord that is, you've been born again, there's something you musn't forget,

Proverbs 16:9 A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.

Coram Deo=Before the Face of God

I will walk with integrity of heart within my house; I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me. A perverse heart shall be far from me; I will know nothing of evil-Psalm 101:2-4

Let me start by saying this: There is NOTHING done in secret. All things are laid bare before the Creator of the universe. While I have affirmed this truth as long as I can remember, until God made me His child, it never meant a hill of beans in terms of how I lived. Coram Deo, latin for "before the face of God" should bring fresh fear to the heart of a believer. It means that our entire lives, both private and public, are lived out in the sight of a blazingly Holy God.
As I was reading "Worldliness," a book of essays compiled by CJ Mahaney, I was struck by the chapter entitled, "God, my heart, and Media" written by Craig Cabaniss. Struck because it's been a very long time since I have taken inventory of my heart when it comes to my media habits. I should say, honest and Scripture-informed inventory. I, like many before me, have compared my own media habits to others, and of course I came out "better than average" against that standard. The bitter truth, however, is that the standard is not "other people," but the only objective truth known to man-the Word of God.
So what was it that struck me about this particular essay? Well, I'm glad you ask. In his essay, Cabaniss at one point writes, "Many of us don't think about actively filtering our viewing [television]. As long as we avoid the obvious traps such as pornography, we don't consider deliberate evaluation necessary. Though we may faithfully apply the Scriptures in other areas of life, we may not consciously think about how God's Word applies to our entertainment choices." While reading this, I wondered aloud what such conscious thought would look like played out in my life. I was reminded of a lyric from Da TRUTH, a Christian artist, that goes "some of what I struggle with is internal..........; that's why I GOT CERTAIN CHANNELS ON MY TELEVISION BLOCKED." It's that type of intentional, proactive thought into my intake that I need. Actually, I must go even beyond the blocking of certain channels. A particular channel may not get blocked, but there needs to be a growth in Biblical discernment that leads to my changing channels more often than I have. The apostle John noted two-thousand years ago that all that is in the world is the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and pride in possessions (1 John 2:16). Has anything changed from that generation to this? It is against this backdrop that the Lord warns us not to love the world, neither the things in it. Let's walk through an important text concerning our walks. Ephesians 5:1-16 (all emphasis mine)
Eph 5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.
Eph 5:2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Eph 5:3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
Eph 5:4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
Eph 5:5 For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
Eph 5:6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
Eph 5:7 Therefore do not become partners with them;
Eph 5:8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light Eph 5:9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true),
Eph 5:10 and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.
Eph 5:11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.
Eph 5:12 For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.
Eph 5:13 But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible,
Eph 5:14 for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."
Eph 5:15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,
Eph 5:16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil


Wow! As I read this passage over and again, I realize God's call to discern what is pleasing to Him; at the same time, the clear description of what's displeasing to Him should rouse my suspicion in both what I watch and what I listen to. How much of what's contained in this passage do I intentionally avoid in my personal life, yet entertain myself with in depictions of the lives of others? How is my behavior much different in this, than the behaviors I typically discipline my children for as dishonoring? For example, let's say I instruct my 4 year-old not to run across the living room because it's dangerous. He proceeds to walk as fast as humanly possible instead of running. Is his speed-walking less dangerous? Is it honoring to me that he is seeking to "push the envelope" of obedience as far as he can without blatantly disobeying? On the contrary, I correct him because what he is doing is, at the core, showing his desire to disobey the spirit of my command, even while obeying the letter. Also, let's say he completely stops running, yet encourages and even finds entertainment in his little sister's running. What does that say about his heart? In the same way, I could be seen as dishonoring my Lord's commands by "pushing the envelope" of obedience by being entertained by the very things that God hates, the things that actually put my Savior on the cross. I, like the author of the essay, am not advocating the banishment of all TV, movies or other entertainment. What I agree with is that thoughtless watching is to be avoided as dangerous. The pursuit of holiness is indeed an intentional pursuit. As Cabaniss points out, "we don't accidentally drift into holiness; rather, we mature gradually and purposefully, one choice at a time."
I certainly am not exempt from the many self-justifications that are possible when faced with these Scriptural truths. I have argued, like many others, that "I don't," for instance, "watch a murder and then go out and commit one." In other words, just because I watch such and such doesn't mean I'll imitate what I see. I'm smart enough to watch TV and then determine what the Lord finds displeasing about it, and then not do it. Cabaniss states, "our sanctification aspirations should be loftier than avoiding murder." It is blissful ignorance to believe that our hearts aren't negatively affected by the programs or films we watch. Not to mention the hearts of our children and spouses. As a man, I am held accountable for what I allow within my home, not just my own eyes. How's that for upping the ante?
Although I've only scratched the surface of what's contained in this short essay, I would highly recommend you read it for yourself. I'd like to leave you with some points the author makes to help facilitate thoughtful viewing. There are many more points than you'll see here, but I'll give a bite-size chunk as an example of the valuable advice I found here.
Cabaniss gives categorical questions that we can ask before viewing (or while viewing) that can help us discern the Lord's will concerning a particular show or movie. I'll just highlight two questions from each category here:
Time Questions
1. Am I delaying or skipping something important in order to watch this now?
2. In the last week, how much time have I spent on the spiritual disciplines, building relationships, or serving in my local church compared to the time consuming media?
Heart Questions
1. Do I secretly want to view something in this show/movie that is sinful? Am I deceiving myself by saying, "I'll fast-forward through the bad parts?"
2. Am I watching because I'm bored or lazy? If so, what does that reveal about my heart?
Content Questions
1. What does this show/movie glamorize? What is valued, or considered important?
2. Would I benefit in any way from viewing this show/movie or visiting this website?

Paul's word to the Corinthians that all things are lawful, yet not helpful is an oft-used text to herald the joys of Christian liberty. I, myself have harped on this verse to advocate my freedom to watch whatever I please, so long as it's not "blatantly sinful." Think about this quote from "Worldliness," though:
"What if we began to test all our media consumption from the nightly news to our entertainment programs to our video rentals? And furthermore, what if the standard was looking for what might be beneficial instead of what might simply be permissible?" In my life, this would/will change a lot. Look back to the Scripture that opened this entry; Psalm 101:2-4
I will walk with integrity of heart within my house; I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me. A perverse heart shall be far from me; I will know nothing of evil
The psalmist seems to have gotten the point of permissible vs. beneficial. We live our entire lives Coram Deo, before the face of God. I pray that God would give me the grace to walk as such in public, but even more so as David in Psalm 101; WITHIN MY HOUSE. I pray the same for you as well.
Grace and Peace

How Ought We to Plan?

Since I was a youngster, I've enjoyed the game of Chess. My uncle taught it to me when he came home from prison. I think I was around 10 years old at the time. Chess is a cool game, because all you really need to learn is how the pieces can move. Once you know that, the strategy part is up to you. Doesn't that sound like a great game? Yeah, that's part of why I like it so much. As you begin to learn the moves you can make, you simultaneously learn which moves your opponent can make. This is where a healthy dose of forethought comes in. You have to anticipate the moves your opponent will make, in response to your move. Eventually, that will stretch to a point where you can anticipate the opponent's move farther and farther removed from where the game currently is. That is, you can and should be able to think 3-5 moves ahead at a moderate level of play. Experts, or masters, can see even further ahead (some 10 or more moves and various scenarios ahead). Wow, right?!?!!? Some of you already are asking, "what is your point, man???" My answer is this: since I began playing Chess, I have been taught and have practiced a certain type of planning ahead. Planning as if the only things to consider were my moves, and how others would respond to them. In Chess, there is no "what if I'm not able to move after my opponent does?" In other words, there is no thought that I may die before this game ends. There is simply the assumption that I move, then he, then I move, then he. Therefore, my plans during the game were based on the assumption that "no circumstance will stop this game, save Checkmate or Stalemate." Certainly not something as sudden and final as, say, death. Under such conditions, good planning ahead ALWAYS netted the desired result-a good game. This type of blind foresight, if you will, was seen as a noble characteristic among my friends and family, because I was able to anticipate what would come next on the Chessboard of life. I was ALWAYS asking the "what if this happens" question. I would answer myself, "if that happens, then I'll do this, or that or the other." When one move didn't prove fruitful, plans B, C, and D were always on deck and ready to be implemented. Never a thought of the potential inability to enact the plans of my own mind; but Chess and life are not the same.

PLAN, BUT BASED ON WHAT??

Now, I am fully aware that not only Chess players have a penchant for posing "what-ifs," and then planning "accordingly." According to what, though, is the important piece. If one is making plans based on a "what if," that's akin to warming up a bottle today for a baby that has yet to be born. I'm not here to speak about the futility of "what ifs" today though (that entry is in the works), but the caution we need to have in planning ahead. There are parameters to our forethought, that if not heeded, can lead to misappropriation of God's time.

In Chess, depending soley on your own knowledge, understanding and foresight could win you the game. In life (as a believer particularly), it could cost you dearly. The Scriptures are replete with warnings about planning as if we control our own lives. Take a look at this passage:

Jas 4:13 Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"--

Jas 4:14 yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

Jas 4:15 Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." Here, James is not condemning the making of plans, but the making of plans without regard for what the will of God is concerning our life itself. Chess player or not, we can all acknowledge that some planning is a part of a conscientious life. Afterall, we all make grocery lists, budgets, and use our DVR's to record what we PLAN to watch later :). The question is, do we realize during our planning that every plan WE make is contingent on the preordained plans our LORD has for us? I know, I know, you say "Lord willing" before every statement about your future, right? And if so, what exactly do you mean by that? In the James passage, the point is made that we are just mists that appear and then vanish. The times I have said "Lord willing," I have meant something like this: "Lord willing, I will DO this or that," or "Lord willing I will be in such and such a place on time." James is dealing with the frailty of LIFE itself, however. My position has always been (before now), that I have plans and if the Lord wills, my plans will come to fruition. LOL. What about you? James is stating that we ought to say "If the Lord wills, I WILL LIVE........" Wowzers!! Now that's certainly different than simply saying, if it's the Lord's will, I'll do what I want to do. Our lives, and the length or brevity of them is in God's hands alone, and so we ought not to cease planning; but begin to plan more soberly. It has been asked many times, "If you knew you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do?" In light of our individual answers to that question, perhaps our planning ahead should take on a different complexion? How would your plans change if you knew how long the Lord has for you on this Earth? Well, we may not know to the date how long we have, but this we do know: Our lives are but mists, vapors that will certainly vanish. How then ought we to plan?

PLAN AS IF WE KNOW OUR TIME IS SHORT:

If we prioritized our plans around the promised brevity of life, what would the new priority list look like? I have taken it upon myself to jot down a few things I'd like to do as a believer, based on the 24 hour principle: (Not in any particular order of importance)

1. I would want to clearly share the Gospel with all friends I could contact ASAP.

2. I would capitalize fully on every spare moment to love my wife and point my children Godward. This would include sharing the Gospel with them with both urgency and love.

3. I would get things in order in such a way that my wife would know where all finances stand, and the proper way to handle all affairs of the home that are currently under my care.

4. I would call many of my loved ones just to see how they were, tell them I love them, and give them the Gospel.

As I said, this is just a few things I'd like to do. As I look at this list, I grieve because only a few of these things are top of mind daily for me now. What does this say?

As I come to truly believe the Scriptures about the shortness of my time here, I should begin to seriously contemplate my priorities. Should there be this great chasm between how I plan now, and how I would plan if my time were limited? Surely some difference is to be expected, as we don't plan like we will actually die tomorrow. Yet, the knowledge that time does not belong to us to begin with should cause us to delight in God's mercy. His mercies are new every morning, and that partly because it's only His mercy that allows us to rise. It is the Lord's will that we are here today, and we will only be here tomorrow if it is His will we be. May I start my days now recognizing that all that I accomplish I owe to Him, for it is He who gives me life. May I plan as a man who knows that this life is not my own and that my chief end is to Glorify God. May we all begin to rethink our priorities in light of eternity as opposed to the temporal. Then, as Paul to the Romans,

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

May our Lord by His Spirit grant me the grace to do the same.

Grace and Peace